So, a friend and I were having a conversation the other day, she remarked that people appear to prefer mean people, in the romantic sense that is. Mean = hard to pin down, very direct, no sugar coating and may be unwilling to bend to accommodate your current feelings etc….
I agreed to some extent.
See, it’s a challenge when someone is in some way as described above. It’s like a duel, they’ve drawn their sword, you smile and put up your shield. Often, it’s guys that need to be on the defence, show they can bob and weave and have dope foot work, if you read my meaning.
So, back to the topic at hand. Right, this was inspired by the below tweet from another friend.
Here the thing, I should have asked what he thinks makes him a “nice guy”. What does he do? How is he different from your average dude? Here is my theory on it, the below really applies to the getting to know you stage of a relationship;
- In getting to know someone, mystery is really dope. If you’re the kinda guy that divulges all kinda things about yourself as soon as you like someone, stop it! (Ladies, apply the same). You want to whet her appetite to get to know you better, without hitting her with the reel of your life thus far.
- This one is kinda controversial and I’ll temper by saying this is what I – Me, the writer of this blog – like. Right, I don’t like predictable men! I find it extremely boring and thoroughly unsexy. You gotta have some edge to you, you can’t be the guy that calls at 9.00pm on the dot if he says he will, half past 9 won’t kill her, even 10 (It’s best that you do call though, especially if it’s a new relationship). Mind you, this isn’t what I’d define as “edge”, that I can’t really explain, you either have it or not, suffice it to say when it’s there, it’s very hot.
- We’re all adults (presumably) so this isn’t about playing games, it’s about putting your most attractive foot forward. You have to unfurl at a slow or steady pace, don’t be in a rush, she needs to want you, right? There is such a thing as too sweet, an overload of saccharine, then she stops being excited by it, it’s the norm, you strip your gesture of feeling – Pace yourself! See, don’t believe the bullshit about ‘just be yourself’, be your most attractive self, see the process as a job interview where you want them to want you but they also need to know that you have other offers (You get this?)
There’s nothing wrong with being a nice guy as such, except nice is often interchanged with boring, over eager, always available – These are only good traits in middle age or when you’re fully settled into a long-term relationship or marriage and you’re both sure that this is it.
It’s always good to be good, I’d like to think of myself as a good person (my mother thanks you if you agree) however in a relationship, who wants to be seen as “nice”? Think of all these other adjectives you’d rather be, exciting, sexy, unpredictable, etc… Don’t confuse being a good man with being a nice man.
In sum, maintain your cool, keep a sexy distance, avoid being predictable and ensure she earns your ‘predictability’. Being nice is cool but being smart is even better.
StoneBwoy x Kranium – Talk To Me.
Obrafour x Bisa KDei – Pimpinaa